Vexations from two Phillies' Fans [J. Mark English]

A friend who is a die-hard fan of the Phillies, as well as every other sporting team from Philadelphia, forwarded me an e-mail exchange he had with a fellow Philly sports fan. I had to clean up the language a bit, but I thought it was worth posting. In the first e-mail, the writer is frustrated that his friend went to last night's Phillies/Mets game.

So jealous!! You picked a hell of a game to go to. Me, like a sucker ponied up the 15 bucks to buy the MLB online package so I could watch the games this month. I watched it last night. The Phillies are like the eternal c**k tease. They are like this chick at a bar that you try to chat up, you buy her drinks, she leads you on with that glimmer of hope that you might take her home and sleep with her, only you know from past experiences you are going to Wawa's alone before you hit your place. And right now I'm buying her drinks even though I know I'm going to get a junior Italian Hoagie and a bottle of iced tea before I nestle into the covers cold and alone...

And that sums up the entire Philadelphia fan's experience - this city has the worst case of blue b***s ever. Next time anyone gives me a hard time I'll just tell them they'd be grumpy too if they hadn't been f**ked in 24 years. B***h.